Woohooo
Sunday, July 03, 2005
ok get ready for an update...*cracks all possible joints*
I did all of nothing today.
But for those of you who were doing something and are stressed as a result, I have just the thing for you:
i AM healthy, biatch
Saturday, July 02, 2005
Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?
A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it. Don't waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.
Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable).
Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain.
Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have a body and you have body fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.
Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
A: Can't think of a single one, sorry.
Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING! Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?
Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.
Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: Are you crazy? Cocoa beans - another vegetable!
Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.
Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?
A: 'Round' is a shape.
Shit..some ppl have waaay too much time...but atleast it makes u feel good rite? :D
God's mysterious ways
Friday, July 01, 2005
In my paheli review i had said tht i am so happy tht i didnt have to pay to watch this crap..well God heard me and decided to make me pay anyway..by the means of watching War of the Worlds...somebody please define the word war to steven (yes, spielberg).. all i saw was alien tripods whooping human ass left right n center..and all humans (read cruise n daughter) do is run..again left right but no center coz thts where the incredible human-into-dust laser is pointed to..so no surprise tht they survive while others are hand picked by the omnipotent aliens..i thought war was a fight of epic proportions between two parties..
what really pissed me off was the fact tht its the freaking aliens attacking earth and all earth or specifically US forces are fighting with are normal weapons..u know rifles and one or two rocket launchers and some tanks for good measure...where are the super cool weapons that are military secrets until times like these :P...wht did they wanna tickle the aliens or something...bah..wish they had done a better job..spielberg is capable of it..
this is how the world will actually end
Three day weekend..i dunno whether to be happy or sad... w.lafayette aint exactly a very happening place (not for me atleast)...
early mornin funny
Maybe its the fact tht i woke up abt 5 mins ago but i found this joke stupidly funny...
A monkey is sitting in a tree, smoking a joint, when
a lizard walks past.
The lizard looks up and says to the monkey "Hey!
what are you doing?"
The monkey says "Smoking a joint, come up and join
me, my cold-blooded friend."
So the lizard climbs up and sits next to the monkey
and they have another joint.
After a while the lizard says his mouth is 'dry',
and that he's going to get a drink from the river.
At the riverbank, the lizard is so stoned that he
leans too far over and falls in.
A Crocodile sees this and swims over to the stoned
lizard, helping him to the side.
He then asks the lizard, "What's the matter with
you?!"
The lizard explains to the crocodile that he was
sitting in the tree, smoking a joint with his new monkey
friend. He then explained how his mouth got dry, and that he
was so wasted that, when he went to get a drink from
the river, he fell in!
The inquisitive crocodile says he has to check this
out. He walks into the jungle and finds the tree
where the monkey is sitting, finishing a joint.
He looks up and says "Hey, MONKEY!"
The Monkey looks down and says "FUUUUUCK,
DUDE....... how much water did you drink?
